ok - this story is too good to leave off the blog.
i don't care that it didn't happen in my store, or even my district. trust me - this is great:
every few years each bux gets a major remodel. usually that means a fresh coat of paint, new artwork, new furniture, and updated pastry cases and shelves.
it just so happens that in this particular bux, there is a regular who really, REALLY loved the comfy chairs. he would come in every morning, ask for a venti iced water (that's right - he never bought drinks), claim a comfy chair and camp out on it for several hours. apparently he was a budding sitcom writer.
no, he didn't ACTUALLY write for sitcoms. nor did he ever make money for any of his scripts. nonetheless, bux had become his workplace and everyday he came in for his venti water and his comfy chair.
now, you might have rightly guessed that he was very upset when this bux was closed for remodeling.
"how am i going to get any writing done!?!" he demanded of the baristas. "you are seriously messing with my flow!"
so, he eagerly awaited the re-opening of this bux so that he could settle into his comfy chair with a free water. imagine his devastation when he found his comfy chairs had been replaced with some not-so-comfy seats. he apparently raised the biggest stink because he could not write his sitcoms while sitting in the less-comfy chairs because it strained his back. he called the manager, the district manager, the regional manager and the starbucks customer complaint line. he brought in his own special padding to use and demanded the baristas keep the padding in their backroom because he couldn't be bothered to lug it back and forth everyday (you know - because of his bad back).
still, he continued to complain to everybody and anybody about his missing comfy chair. he told corporate that he was going to sue.
he felt a lawsuit was necessary because (please stay with me here):
he couldn't write in the new chairs because they made his back hurt
which meant he couldn't make any money
which meant he couldn't afford to take his girlfriend out
which meant she didn't want to date him anymore
which meant he became depressed when she dumped him
which meant he had to pay for therapy
which meant he would also have to pay for anti-depressants
which meant he would no longer be an effective sitcom writer since he was going to be taking medication
which meant he couldn't realize his dream as a sitcom writer
want to know what bux did?
that's right - they searched high and low, far and wide to find him his precious comfy chair. and NO ONE ELSE was allowed to use his chair, which meant the poor baristas had to bring out the chair for him when he arrived, and carry it back to their backroom when he left.
so, to recap, a non-paying regular who would spend hours camped out at bux (occupying a chair that should have been for paying customers) managed to get what he wanted from corporate by threatening to sue.
i have to laugh, or else i'll cry.
barista rant: no, i will not sell you one of our red aprons. it doesn't matter how funny your girlfriend will think your gag gift is, we will not sell it to you. don't wave your twenty dollar bill at us and expect us to chance losing our jobs so that you and your girlfriend can have a giggle on christmas morning. don't act like we're stupid for not being tempted by your money, and don't insult us by saying we don't know the value of a dollar. WE are not the ones spending twenty bucks on a laugh.