1.30.2007

put up your dukes!

nothing gets my morning going like two customers ready to throw down.

apparently someone had a serious case of road rage (parking lot rage, maybe?) and a few honks and rude gestures were not adequate enough methods to let off steam. so when customer A came into my bux, customer B was on her scent.

customer A: "give me a tall soy latte."
barista buddy: "ok, anything else today?"
customer A: "yeah, give me a cheese danish - "
customer B: "you maniac! you almost killed me out there!"
customer A: "lady, i already apologized to you."
barista buddy: "ok, your total is - "
customer B: "i'm going to report you - you maniac! i bet you don't even have a valid license!"
barista buddy: "uh, ma'am. can you settle this outside after she gets her coffee?"
customer B: "oh, just because she's spending money here means she's allowed to drive however she wants? what, is she mrs. starbucks or something?"
barista buddy: "uh, no. we just can't have yelling in here."
customer B: "i was almost killed! you expect me to be calm when i almost died because of her!"
customer A: "oh, you are so over-reacting. you were in my blind spot, that's all. as soon as you honked i quit changing lanes."
customer B: "my two children were in the car with me! you could have killed us all!"
barista brat: "ma'am, i understand you're upset but i can't have you yelling in here."
customer B: "of course i'm upset! i have an infant and a toddler and she almost killed us all!"
customer A: "oh please, if you're so concerned about your kids why did you leave them in the car to come yell at me?"
customer B: "fuck you! you maniac!"

and with that last poetic cry of injustice she stormed out of the store.
not a minute later we heard her revving her engine and peeling out of the parking lot.
"and i'm supposed to be the maniac" customer A laughed before leaving.

partner rant: please don't spend the entire shift whining about the write-up you just received for constantly being late. please don't turn your ten-minute break into a fifteen-minute break because you were on the phone complaining to your boyfriend about said write-up. and please don't ask the rest of us baristas to try and convince the manager that he should "erase" the write-up.

18 comments:

little miss said...

Ha! I love it when they are mad at someone besides you! Makes the day a little easier to take, doesn't it? :)

Lisa said...

Hehe! Do all Bux have maniac magnets? One accosted me last month when I supposedly "stole her parking space". Of course she was very 'nice' about it as she started the berrating with, "I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas!" then proceeded to bitch me out.

Some people... sheesh!

Lisa said...

Hehe! Do all Bux have maniac magnets? One accosted me last month when I supposedly "stole her parking space". Of course she was very 'nice' about it as she started the berrating with, "I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas!" then proceeded to bitch me out.

Some people... sheesh!

Lisa said...

Hehe! Do all Bux have maniac magnets? One accosted me last month when I supposedly "stole her parking space". Of course she was very 'nice' about it as she started the berrating with, "I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas!" then proceeded to bitch me out.

Some people... sheesh!

Lisa said...

Hehe! Do all Bux have maniac magnets? One accosted me last month when I supposedly "stole her parking space". Of course she was very 'nice' about it as she started the berrating with, "I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas!" then proceeded to bitch me out.

Some people... sheesh!

Lisa said...

Hehe! Do all Bux have maniac magnets? One accosted me last month when I supposedly "stole her parking space". Of course she was very 'nice' about it as she started the berrating with, "I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas!" then proceeded to bitch me out.

Some people... sheesh!

Lisa said...

Hehe! Do all Bux have maniac magnets? One accosted me last month when I supposedly "stole her parking space". Of course she was very 'nice' about it as she started the berrating with, "I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas!" then proceeded to bitch me out.

Some people... sheesh!

Lisa said...

Hehe! Do all Bux have maniac magnets? One accosted me last month when I supposedly "stole her parking space". Of course she was very 'nice' about it as she started the berrating with, "I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas!" then proceeded to bitch me out.

Some people... sheesh!

Allan said...

Customer A seems remarkably well-adjusted. Do you get many like that?

Evangeline said...

she's a maniac, maniac on the floor...and she's ordering a soy latte, no foam. Sorry. I'm leaving now.

Andrew said...

Nice, crazy maniac. Scary, yet funny at the same time. I wonder if her kids saw her yelling.

Anonymous said...

Oh well, a day without maniacs is a day lost...

I was in bux the other day for the first time in a while and I thought "I've been reading barista brat (slightly too much...!!), I know the lingo" and proceeded to ask for "an extra shot of vanilla". Oops. The girl on till just looked at me and went "Yeah. An extra pump of vanilla." Egg on face....!

Citymouse said...

darn, so spilled milk

SkippyMom said...

Great point about the kids...if she was so worried about them WHY did she leave them in the car? Because she was afraid they might start crying b/c "Mommy has gone on a tirade again?" Can someone say anger management with me? Makes you wonder what she does when the infant spits up her or the toddler draws on the walls...[shivers].....

I enjoy the way you and Buddy handled that. What a loon she was - over a PARKING SPACE.

[Brat...I didn't say it, but y'know I wanted too..."S.O.E." sigh....]

Hugs!

mellowlee said...

"is she mrs. starbucks or something?"
teehee! That was great!!! XD

Grumpy Housewife said...

What a dumb bitch Customer B is!

Yeah, OBVIOUSLY she's concerned about her kids, she's sooooo concerned she left them in the car so she could go in and have a temper tantrum.

I can't stand people like that. They get on my last nerve, and they usually hate tangling with me, because I happily use logic to piss them off. As in, "Wait, wait, wait, you were in my blind spot, and you're going to jump MY case? No, I don't think so. You hit me from behind, you're automatically at fault for following too close, you idiot. Oh, you are SO CONCERNED about your kids? Is that why you left them in the car, so that some nutjob like you can snatch them? Oh yeah, you didn't think about THAT, did you?"

Yeah, I don't like stupid people. But then, I was raised in a family that cannot and will not abide a fool gladly, willingly, or at all.

Anonymous said...

Hi! I'm a first time reader and first time comment-er.

Is it kind of wrong that I've spent the last half hour reading your blog and now I have an irresistable urge to go and apply for a job at "my local bux"???

I'd like to think I'm one of the nice customers that you'll never have to write about. I'd also like to think that people don't act quite as horrendously toward barristas (or anyone else for that matter!) here in Melbourne, Australia.

Take care and keep the goss (and the lattes) flowing... and "Cheers!" from Australia =D

barista brat said...

little miss - it definitely is a nice change!

lisa - what a psycho!

allan - luckily we do.

evangaline - haha. too funny. i think jp was inspired by your comment over at here's the 80's.

andrew - i'm sure they see her yelling ALL the time.

anonymous - oh no! haha, so long as you didn't ask for a cappuccino, then complain about too much foam!

citymouse - comes with the apron!

skippymom - i thought customer A made a good point with that as well.

mellowlee - i had a hard time stifling my laugh at that one!

grumpy housewife - i'd love to be around when you use your logic on someone!

anonymous - thanks for reading! and commenting!