sundays seem to bring the most random collection of customers to bux.
in the 'too much information' department, we had two customers who shared much more than they needed to.
first there was the lady who was (seemingly) overly concerned about the moisture level of our crumble coffee cakes.
"are they really dry or are they pretty soft?" she asked us.
"well, the top is crumbly - so that might be a little dry, but the bottom part is moist like a cake." we told her.
"is the top really, really dry?"
we kind of shrugged our shoulders. seriously, i'm not sure if the crumbly bits are 'really dry' or 'really, really dry'. i wasn't taught that at barista school.
"you can always get a refund or exchange it for something else if you don't like it." i suggested.
"well, ok. i just hope it's not super dry." she said before paying and finding an empty table.
about five minutes later she walks back up to the register with something wrapped in a napkin.
"you see?" she said through a barely open mouth. "it's too dry!"
then she opened the napkin to reveal her false teeth - as if it were somehow proof that the crumbly bits actually were 'really, really dry'.
the second customer was a guy who spent ten minutes at the register telling us how he hasn't had a date in six months. that information in itself wasn't over the top. the disclosure that he was having frequent herpes outbreaks was indeed much, too much info.
in the 'i'm soooo friggen' high maintenance' category we have three freaks with too much time on their hands.
the first was the lady who wanted a doppio macchiato (that's just foam with two shots poured over the top). this lady, however, didn't just want the foam. no - she wanted the creamy layer that hid just BENEATH the foam.
"you know, that stuff that's not quite foam and not quite steamed milk!" she said with a smile, as if that would make me think she was any less of a high maintenance barbie doll.
second was the guy that wanted his shaken iced tea to have fresh ice when it was poured into the cup. that meant we had to shake it with the ice, then strain the liquid into a glass, and add fresh ice that was not previously used in the making of his drink.
and third was the kid - that's right, an eight year-old KID, that wanted a chocolate milk.
"but only two pumps of chocolate. give me an extra pump of vanilla and use milk from a container that hasn't been opened yet - i like fresh milk - and then just put about five ice cubes in it, but make sure all the syrup is completely mixed in, and then i want whipped cream with caramel on top. but just one swirl of caramel, not a whole bunch, ok?"
can you imagine what this kid is going to be like in ten years?
barista rant: we have gone over this so many friggen' times! when you ask for a venti drip, and i then ask you if you'd like room, just say yes! if you just say yes, then you won't feel the need to pour hot, steaming coffee in the trash can to make room for the milk you're about to put in your drink. if you continue to say "no, no room" then i won't leave any! so please, just say yes! that way when i empty the trash it won't weigh ten extra pounds from the coffee that you and all the other idiot customers dump in it to make room!