8.31.2006

bux love

bux partners can't keep secrets. they just can't. it's in our genetic make-up to pass along any juicy bit of info that might find its way into our ears. "everybody talks" is the pat answer whenever someone asks "where did you hear that?" and it's true. everyone does talk.

that's why it's so funny when partners who start dating think they can keep it a secret from everyone else in the store. as if the rest of us are oblivious to the "discreet" caresses and furtive whispers in between taking orders and making drinks. they expect us to believe it's just "coincidence" when they walk into the store together and when they give each other rides home. and they think denying what is fact will somehow make us ignore all the obvious signs before us.

bux has a policy about dating. basically, you're not supposed to do it. really, management doesn't usually care if baristas date each other so long as they don't bring their love drama to work, but no one is allowed to date outside their rank within the store. so if a lead gets it on with a barista then a transfer is in order for one of them. that's why partners try so hard to keep their amour private even though that's about as easy as pulling a great shot from a verismo.

all around the district you'll hear stories about managers sticking their biscotti where it doesn't belong, leads leading baristas astray, and the odd ménage à trois (i'm serious. i remember one that involved a barista, her manager and his pregnant wife). it doesn't matter if the drama happened in a different district - in a matter of days the gossip will travel by way of the green apron express and everyone within a twenty mile radius will know your business because "everybody talks".

barista rant: you are not a bux customer, yet everyday you come in to get a glass of water to go with the bagel you bought at the sandwich shop next door. if you don't want to pay for a drink, that's fine. but why don't you ask the the sandwich shop for a glass of water when you shell out your money for the bagel? if they don't have water (which i know for a fact they do) then at least save the damn cup we give you!

10 comments:

Tom said...

Oh, but the bux smells so much better than the bagel shop! And the people are sexier! And-- and-- at the bux, there's YOU!

Zeus said...

all around the district you'll hear stories about managers sticking their biscotti where it doesn't belong

Thank goodness I had swallowed my coffee before reading! I can't imagining wanting to have a relationship with someone I work with, and now with this biscotti metaphor in my head, I think that just secures the issue in my mind.

Sling said...

"Sticking their biscotti where it doesn't belong"...God help me!...I miss bartending.

Benny said...

all around the district you'll hear stories about managers sticking their biscotti where it doesn't belong, leads leading baristas astray, and the odd ménage à trois (i'm serious. i remember one that involved a barista, her manager and his pregnant wife). it doesn't matter if the drama happened in a different district - in a matter of days the gossip will travel by way of the green apron express and everyone within a twenty mile radius will know your business because "everybody talks".

Okay, seriously. Only in (Northern) Hollywood. Hehe.

jpdc said...

Sounds like bux employees get a lot of action. Are you hiring?

Ben said...

The menage a trois sounds interesting.
That deserves another post with all the lurid details Barista.

Anonymous said...

I read through your entire blog, a great read, thank you.

barista brat said...

tom - haha, it's true - there are no green aprons at the bagel shop.

zeus - it gets especially messy when there's an inter-store break-up.

sling - we won't even discuss the missing shot glasses...

b - are you telling me this doesn't happen in the pan handle?

jpdc - haha. i think i'd love to work with you. the day would never be dull!

ben - I was NOT there for the menage a trois! i have no details to give, haha.

anonymous - thank you for stopping by!

Beth said...

"sticking their biscotti where it doesn't belong"

Funniest line I've read all week. And did they use a biscotti in the menage a trois?

Good column, as usual, Brat.

jehara said...

i think some people just prefer bux water because it's filtered three times. and it's probably not at the bagel shop.

do they at least tip for the water?

hmm, on second thought, probably not.